She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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