i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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