3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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