names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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