i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
