I hate all girls vehemently.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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