i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
