wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
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