Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
