We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
