Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
