How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
