I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
