She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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