Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize