yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize