Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
