so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The air taste purple.
Randomize
