goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
