Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
