bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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