I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
