so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
pop tarts are not kleenex
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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