He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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