yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
