i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
