I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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