Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
