We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize