I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
