Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
