i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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