before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
