it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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