...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
