If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize