so explain again why im purple
no
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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