Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
