you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
