when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Actions speak louder than pants.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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