just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
sex in a hospital.. check
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
