I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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