There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize