doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
