Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
