Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
