is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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