Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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