Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
