She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
