i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
