I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
