I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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