he shaved USA in his pubs
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
