dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
