i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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