how do flat chested girls get laid?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
