With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
