But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
