Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize