all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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