I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
