I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize