Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
