I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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