Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize