Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
