The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
